New Year’s Resolution

the calendar flips
yet we remain the same -
as cold in January
as we were in December -
we declare ourselves new people,
promising fresh starts;
we change nothing,
though we know our deficiencies
and self-flagellate with great remorse;
declaring we will improve,
we find too much comfort
in the simple ease
of remaining the same;
accepting our limitations
as time, age or disposition,
excusing in ourselves
what we won't in others -
afraid of the greatness
we might achieve
with change.
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Introversion

hints of mourning sun
cast soft light
at the edges
of a lonely dark night
warming the emptiness within -

I welcome its purity,
its promise of a new day,
another opportunity
to be what I'm not;
it's why I'm here now:

I need the strength of this calm
before the world wakes,
screaming from their beds,
engines roaring to life 
racing towards more -

in these quiet moments
the world makes sense -
birdsongs' soothing music
echoing across the silence,
the chaos of existence
a forgotten memory.

I soak in this warmth,
reminding myself
all of this is a gift,
I brace for another day.
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Doubt

do I deserve this?
the question echoes 
in my mind,
as exhaustion lowers
my fragile defenses
allowing me to see clear
a past littered
with broken dreams,
failures,
and the deep wounds
I have caused.

I am doubt
wracked with guilt
over days I can't change,
I wonder:
"am I worthy of this -
or any - happiness?"
because it warms me now -
in spite of this fatigue -
it feels right 
I would cling to it
for all I'm worth -

have I done enough
to earn this moment?



yes
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